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Pick Me! Pick Me!

Dear Mr Senator Steven Horsford Sir,

I hear tell that you will be picking an artist for the official portrait of Nevada guberator and Chief Scallywag Jim Gibbons. (NNB)

I myself cannot think of a dumber waste of state funds during these trying times. However, if you insist on wasting money on such a dumbass project, my I suggest that you send me the money, and I’ll Photoshop something up in a jiffy which will sum up the Gibbons gubeocracy to a “T”.

The Vote Gibbons Out Official Jim GIbbons Portrait -- Maybe

The above is just a sample, showing the Gøøber as a clueless David with a napkin hat while putative GOP insiders anoint Brian Sandoval behind his back.

True, Gibbers looks like an idealized fantasy of himself, but then that’s what the whole last 4 years have looked liked to the Gube, as far as I can tell.

Let me know if you want to follow up on my suggestion.

Sincerely, sorta, yours,

The ‘Monger

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We’ll Have to Pry Him Out with a Crowbar

You know, I could probably drive everyone nuts if I said I told you so every time I was right when predicting erratic behavior from the man we call Gube.

Still I’m gonna come right out and say it: I told you so.

Didn’t I warn you that if you didn’t vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary, that he’d go goofy and pull all sorts of awful stuff and become a lame duck on steroids? And wouldn’t we all sleep better in our beds if we knew Gibbons was out trying to elect himself to Gubery instead of having a ton of free time on his hands to muck around in state government and cast lustful thoughts on Reno MILFs?

Why is it that you never listen to me? Just look what’s on Gibber’s plate: a grotesque budget which will make every state department look like that pervo show that was in Vegas with carved up bodies on display, and one final stab at the Nevada Constitution by trying to kill of the Legislative Interim Finance Committee. (Sun)

And, holy bejeebus: mowing the lawn!

It’s as if Gibbons and the staff can’t tell the difference between a crushing defeat and a mandate. True, as one staffer asserted, the Guv was elected to a four year term, although it’s seemed like forty, hasn’t it? Still, when a majority of voters from your own party tells you that you have no popular support, you’d think some one who has yammered about how swell it is to defend democracy and abiding by the will of the people would take the hint.

Perhaps the explanation for the post-election boost in gubernatorial nuttery might be explained best by the staff being taken over by aliens from outer space. I cite as evidence that strange manner of speech adopted by Gibbons’ spokster/puppetmeister Lynn Hetrick:

“We’re not happy with IFC and think it regularly oversteps its authority,” Hettrick said. When asked if they are willing to challenge its constitutionality — sometimes referred to as the “nuclear option” — Hettrick said, “Are we willing? Yes. Are we going to? We haven’t made up our minds.”

Did you see that? “Our minds”?

It’s pretty clear that the staff has been taken over by some horrid, pulsating hive mind set on softening up Nevada before invading us to ingest our men and procreate with our women.

Don’t believe me? They have already tried to gas the Nevada State Insurance Division! Everybody knows: so goes the NSID, so goes Nevada!

Program note: since you dumb asses don’t see the need to immediately call in the state legislature to impeach Gibbons despite his primary loss, it looks like I’ll have to lurk around here in VGO and fulfill it’s motto: following Gibbers until the bitter end, which may be never when those aliens pull their coup d’etat.

Don’t think so? Well, don’t make me say I told you so!

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Finally Somebody Says It

Jon Stewart lists Jim Gibbons Crimes against reasonCheck out how Jon Stewart explains why Jim Gibbons lost the election–with one word. (DailyShow)

Meanwhile, Gibbons is threating to cut funding to a state job held by the woman who is suing him for firing her from her previous state job. Mary Keating is suing Gibbons because she claims he fired her after she made public his use of a state cell phone to text Kathy Karrasch, his D.C. party-plane pal. (Sun)

Meanwhile, a fellow who threatened to Nuke the Gube has been extradited from Arizona to face charges of conveying false information concerning acts of terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, lethal agents or toxins.  (NevadaAppeal) Oh, and chopping down some trees in Henderson.

Meanwhile, still not quite ex-Mrs. Gibbons gave a rather uninteresting postmortem of the Nevada primary race, but made up for it with one of the most unflattering pics ever. (TPM) Oddly, she doesn’t blame Sue Lowden’s meltdown on her arch-nemesis Bobby Uithoven, who was fired after Gibbons was elected Gube in 2006–rumors say–at Mrs. Dawn’s urging. Nowadays, you have to get in line to fire Bobby.

Meanwhile, Rory Reid discovers the worst thing he can call Brian Sandoval is, you guessed, Jim Gibbons. (RGJ)

Man, the Gube is sure making it hard to shut this f-ing blog down.

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Our Work Here Is Done, Tonto

Who was that masked man?It’s official. The Associated Press called the Nevada Republican Governor’s primary race for Brian Sandoval a while ago, and thus endeth the perplexing political career of one James Tiberius Gibbons.

As such, it would be truly moronic to continue a blog called Vote Gibbons Out, unless one planned to discuss the failing of political apes. Granted that wouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Whether I will continue to blog on anything at this point is an open question I have yet to resolve. There is Nor’Town, but whether I will continue that project is unknown as well. In any case, I will be taken an extended hiatus from blogging. That may extend to a time at which blogging will have joined the likes of Hula Hoops and iPads.

I suppose if the lame duck interregnum becomes too awful, I might feel compelled to say something. We’ll see.

To my fans, all two of you, I extend my best wishes. I’d leave a silver bullet, too, but I can hardly afford in Nevada’s current economy, or lack thereof.

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When Job Searches Go Bad

JIm Gibbons Gets a PinkslipThe Lame Duck Apparent sent out what, we can only hope, is the last message from the crack governor’s staff/re-elect the trainwreck committee:

Hello Nevada Voters,

This is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

I am honored to serve you and I am asking for your vote for re-election.

Think of this election as applying for a job. I am the only candidate with experience and leadership on my resume.

Four of the leading organizations in Nevada have come out in the past two weeks to endorse and support my campaign.

I have been supported or endorsed by both of the state’s largest tea party organizations, Grassroots Nevada and Action is Brewing (AIB).

Grassroots Nevada researched and interviewed all candidates running for governor and chose to endorse Jim Gibbons because the group felt he “best served the interests of the conservative movement” in the state.

“The Governor won our Action is Brewing’s ‘Taxpayer tested/Grassroots approved’poll,” said Action is Brewing organizer Debbie Landis.

“Governor Gibbons has consistently exhibited pro-life principles throughout his years of political service,” said Jeremy Neil, executive director of LIFEPAC, a state political action committee for Nevada Right to Life.

“Our endorsement (for Governor Gibbons) is based on your dedication to law enforcement, homeland security, law and order and your distinguished career in pubic service,” said Ron Cuzze, President and CEO of Nevada State Law Enforcement Officers’ Association.

I am the only candidate with a track record of fighting higher taxes and fighting bigger government, while we create jobs and fix the economy.

A vote for Jim Gibbons…is the vote for LOWER TAXES, is the vote for SMALLER GOVERNMENT , and is the vote to PROTECT OUR CONSTITUTION.

God Bless You and we’ll see you at the polls on Tuesday.

Warmest Regards,
Jim Gibbons

I figured I would quote the whole thing because, well, we won’t be seeing any of those any more, if what the polls tell us indicate what will happen in what losers call “the only poll that matters” on election day.

Still, the Gibbers campaign insists there is hope–among the crazy in the state:

If Gibbons is to avoid becoming the first Nevada governor to lose a re-election bid in his party’s primary, his campaign will have to find a surge of voters who haven’t been identified by traditional polling methods.

Gibbons’ campaign is betting they’ll do just that by working the phones through Tuesday to bring out voters who identify with conservative Tea Party rhetoric, who support the governor’s hard-line, anti-tax stances.

“I’m not running from my record, I’m willing to run on my record,” Gibbons said Friday of the plan for the remainder of his campaign. “People who run their races based on polls are going to be surprised.” (RJ)

Ah, yes! Let’s create a campaign strategy that ignores all statistical science! That’ll work!

And, unfortunately for the campaign, they did run on his record. Tuesday will show what Nevadans thought of that.

Still, I had the singular opportunity to vote for Jim Gibbons once during this election. I had hoped to help Gibbons creep into the general election where all of you who voted for him in 2006 could feel shame for your insanity. Alas, that is very unlikely to be.

Unless…unless the lame duck interregnum provide ample opportunity for such reflection. But, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone–even those of you who voted for him in 2006.

Oh, and raise your hand if you really think Gibbons ran a moneyless campaign on principle:

His campaign said the more modest operation was, at least partly, a choice.

“He ran a very tight campaign because he feels strongly that at a time when he’s asking for the government to pull back the reins on spending, he doesn’t feel it’s appropriate to spend a lot of money on his own campaign,” his spokeswoman Jill Lufrano said. (Sun)

If you really believe that, then Gibbons is indeed your man. But, before you vote, please seek help. Immediately.

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Send A Wake Up Call To Your Representatives on Tule Springs This Week

From Jill DeStefano, representing the Protectors of Tule Springs:

Greetings all –

On June 7-8th, we would like to mount a sit-up-take-notice campaign aimed at Nevada’s Congressional delegation. Why? Because

NOW is the time to get Tule Springs legislation introduced – to assure its passage during this Congress!

NOW is the time to remind Nevada’s Congressional delegation of the amazing support this community has expressed to make Tule Springs a national monument managed by the National Park Service!

NOW is the time to show Nevadans that our representatives work TOGETHER on Nevada land legislation as they have in the PAST!!

This is NOT a partisan issue. Protectors of Tule Springs has members of every political affiliation. This is about preserving one of the most important Ice Age Fossil sites in the World!

(Feel free to use and please edit to make these points relevant to the endorsing individual/organization.)

  • Last November, with noteworthy collaboration, the Clark County Commission, Las Vegas and North Las Vegas City Councils and the Tribal Council of the Southern Nevada Paiute Tribe UNANIMOUSLY PASSED resolutions asking Nevada’s Congressional to make Tule Springs a national monument, managed by the National Park Service. These elected officials represent more than a million Southern Nevada residents.
  • In the ensuing months, a broad range of stakeholders and varied groups have worked together to outline boundaries and details, and all have come together in the spirit of collaboration to make Tule Springs a model urban national park.
  • We appeal NOW to Nevada’s Congressional delegation to file legislation with anticipation that this legislation will be passed during this Congress.
  • Tule Springs is, as you undoubtedly know, is a significant paleontological site with fossils that span 7,000 to nearly 200,000 years ago. This site is expected to attract visitors from around the world, as well as global scientific interest. Thank you for your support in this vital, essential legislative action.

The most effective way to really make our point stand out will be to flood Congressional offices with snail mail, faxes, email and phone calls. If possible, we need to rally individuals and organizations …. We’re looking for numbers.

North Las Vegas Mastadon Bones

Senator John Ensign
Washington D.C. Office
119 Russell Senate Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Phone: (202) 224-6244
Fax: (202) 228-2193
TTY: (202) 228-3364
Las Vegas Office
333 Las Vegas Boulevard South, Suite 8203
Las Vegas, Nevada 89101
Phone: (702) 388-6605
Fax: (702) 388-6501
Nevada Toll Free: (877) 894-7711

Senator Harry Reid
Washington D.C. Office
522 Hart Senate Office Bldg
Washington, DC 20510
Phone: (202) 224-3542
Fax: (202) 224-7327
Nevada Toll Free: (866) SEN-REID (736-7343)
Las Vegas Office
Lloyd D. George Building
333 Las Vegas Boulevard
South, Suite 8016
Las Vegas, NV 89101
Phone: (702) 388-5020
Fax: (702) 388-5030

Congresswoman Shelley Berkley
Washington, D.C. Office
405 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Phone: (202) 225-5965
Fax: (202) 225-3119
Las Vegas Office
2340 Paseo Del Prado, Suite D-106 Las Vegas, NV 89102
Phone: (702) 220-9823
Fax: (702) 220-9841

Congressman Dean Heller
Washington, D.C. Office
125 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Phone: (202) 225-6155 /// Fax: (202) 225-5679
Las Vegas Office
600 Las Vegas Blvd., Suite 680
Las Vegas, NV 89101
Phone:(702) 255-1651 / Fax: (702) 255-1927

Congresswoman Dina Titus
Washington D.C. Office
319 Cannon HOB
Washington, D.C. 20515
Phone: (202) 225-3252
Fax: (202) 225-2185
Las Vegas Office
8215 S. Eastern Avenue, Suite 205
Las Vegas, NV 89123
Phone: (702) 387-4941
Fax: (702) 837-0728

I would add that if you happen to actually see your representative around asking for your vote, tell them that Tule Springs is a priority for you. I know some of you are working phone banks and volunteering for these people, too. Tell the campaign staff how important the issue is to you.

Cross-posted from Nor’Town.

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Jim Gibbons: Brought to You By the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act

Jim Gibbons at the WheelIrony is reaching a fever pitch as we near the end Jim Gibbons’ trainwreck of a political career.

  • Jimbo doesn’t mind taking the credit for American Recovery and Reinvestment Act projects that keep Nevadans employed in these bad economic times. (DailySpark) And yes, he opposed them. (VGO)
  • DailyKos poll has Gibbers’ unfavorables at 62%. (TPM,DailyKos)
  • Gibbons says he won’t mind losing so much: “Well, because of freedom. It frees you up. If you lose, you get to do what you have always wanted to do. You get to take your talents and skills and go apply them to something in some other area.” (RGJ) Nevada, you have been warned. That’s probably the best reason to run out and vote for the man I’ve ever seen.
  • And I guess that resurrected Nevada Corporate Tourism Bailout Conference will double as a farewell party. (NN?B)
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Drama Queen Attacks “Obama Drama”

Hey Kids! Get Your Governor Jim GIbbons Decoder Ring Today!Looks like the Nevada Governor’s office/Re-elect Gibbons team has started drowning their sorrows a tad early at the prospect of losing big next Tuesday.

I say this based on the evidence of the following campaign e-mail emanating from said office:

Dear Nevada Voters,

Hello, this is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

The “Obama Drama” in Nevada has started, and we have all heard “Spend-it-all” LIE about his liberal “Tax-us-all” agenda.

“Whinin’ Brian” is saying anything, and doing everything to cover up the “Spend-it-all” Seven Year Tax Hike he rammed down our throats, just like Obama did with the Reid/Obama/Pelosi Nationalized Health Care fiasco.

“Spend-it-all” Sued Nevada Voters to Raise Our Taxes, and we are still paying his tax hikes today!

Join me, Governor Jim Gibbons, to stop “Spend-it-all”, Obama, Reid, Pelosi, and the rest of the Liberal Progressives.

Get a friend and get to the polls. Your future and the future of Nevada depend on it.

I ASK FOR YOUR VOTE. Let’s protect our way of life, protect our Constitution and stand by our true conservative values.

God bless you, and let’s get to work.

Warmest Regards,
Jim Gibbons

Man,  that screed is so twisted, you wonder if “our” Gube actually wrote it himself. I guess it’s written in code so that only those with the Gibbons’ secret decoder ring can figure out what the hell it’s talking about. As far as I can tell, the team is trying to make us think that Brian Sandoval–he’s “spend/tax-it-all”–is really a tri-pated monster with the heads of Obama, Pelosi, and the elder Reid.

Note how the team has seven-year itches on the mind. Who knew that the 2003 tax hikes were seven-year tax hikes? Though I suspect the campaign would prefer to call it a fifteen-year tax, to keep the campaign message consistent with the whole Gibbons’ package. So to speak.

What the hell is “Obama Drama,” anyway? Do you think the team even proof-reads this stuff?

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Can You Think of Anything More Embarrassing?

Casino Owner Loses MarblesCan you? Can you think of anything more embarrassing than having your name printed in the local newspaper for giving money to the Jim Gibbons for Trashheap of History Campaign? (RJ)

Who would dare the universal derision surely to accompany such a ludicrous expenditure of funds? Why surely any major corporate figure to do so would cause investors to question his or her sanity. Why, you’d have to think any such corporate officer would have lost their marbles. The stock would no doubt take a nosedive on the news.

So, what kind of idiot would do such a thing?

By the way, anybody want to buy some Wynn stock?

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That Would Be A Lame Duck Special Session

Just when you thought it was safe, “Nevada authorities,” i.e., the gonads in the Gube’s office, announce that they might have to call yet another special session of the state legislature.

This time, however, the SNAFU is all Congress’s doing, as they go into full-blown pre-election meltdown mode.

Congress has decided that, contrary to the hard won lessons of the real Depression, that they have to nickel-and-dime the most vulnerable Americans in order to engage in some faux-deficit cutting. (Krugman)

What’s screwing up the state budget is Congress’s insane idea to cut Medicaid matching funds and Temporary Assistance to Needy Families. (Sun) The state was counting on the funds to balance the budget and without them, it’s back to Carson for the Legislature. Add to the mix a no-doubt lame duck Gibbons and nothing good can come from the mix.

Let’s not forget to add Congress’s dumbass idea to cut unemployment benefits and Cobra supplements. It’s as if they want to punish the unemployed for making them look bad in their election bids.

It is well worth asking all of our representatives, Shelley Berkley, Dina Titus, and Dean Heller, not to mention our high-powered Senators John Ensign and Harry Reid: what are you thinking? Why do you want to make things worse for those suffering most?

Cutting support to the unemployed only makes things worse for everyone. Who are businesses going to sell food to if nobody can buy? Is the idea to undermine those businesses as well? Put more people out of work? Force more people into bankruptcy and foreclosure? Undermine more banks?

And here in Nevada we compound the misery with “glitches” that make payments for thousands late. (RGJ)

Do you people really want so badly to be voted out? If so, I think that can be arranged.

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