Yup, we’ve all learned how to behave like proper Nevada gentlefolk [...]]]> If you’re like me, I’m sure the first person who comes to mind when you’re looking for someone to set the highest standards of proper behavior and social mores is none other that James Tiberius Gibbons, one time Guberator of the former state of Nevada.

Yup, we’ve all learned how to behave like proper Nevada gentlefolk from the Gibster. Why he’s no doubt encouraged many a Nevada lad and lassie to use the boss’s Blackberry to sext up extra-spousal partners, taught them that the only way to divorce is to divorce ugly, and that the whole point of gaining a position of power is perpetual partisan pandering with a healthy dash of mindless sloganeering.

So, if you’re like me, you were no doubt thrilled down to your very toes to hear the Guv offer his advice about Nevada’s most burning non-issue: how to pronounce the state appellation, viewable above. (NNB,Sun)

Still, it is surely fitting that the issue be throughly reported and analyzed. After all, any sentence containing the words Nevada and economy naturally spurs thoughts of apocalypse and nightmare, so, naturally, nobody wants to talk or read about that, especially anyone who might actually be in a position to do something nothing about it. Besides, what else can one report about the Gube? That he first was against, and is now in favor, of accepting the latest round of stimulus funds? That he’ll fill out the application form with crayon and feces, dooming its acceptance? How many times can one report on the same thing?

So, yes, dear media machine feed me trivia about how to pronounce the former state’s name. It will serve well as the sobriquet of the nation’s first Ghost State–the nation’s very own Rhyolite–no matter how it’s pronounced.

The first Depression had Fred and Ginger to distract folks from their woes. We have: Jim Gibbons.

Cross posted from nevadascandalmonger.com.

A strange illness originally seen in the Nevada Governor’s office in Carson City is now spreading through the campaign sites of several prominent Republican candidates.

The malady,whose main symptom appears to be an astounding loss of visibility, was first reported when no one could quite determine the [...]]]>

Jim Gibbons and Brian Sandoval Suffering from Invisibility Malady

A strange illness originally seen in the Nevada Governor’s office in Carson City is now spreading through the campaign sites of several prominent Republican candidates.

The malady,whose main symptom appears to be an astounding loss of visibility, was first reported when no one could quite determine the location of the putative Gube of Nevada, one James Tiberius Gibbons, during a recent meeting of the state prison board.

“It was as if he didn’t show up at all,” explained a staffer working for Nevada Secretary of State Ross Miller, who wished to remain anonymous due to lack of ontological standing. “Why, the A[ttorney] G[eneral Catherine Cortez Masto] and Ross simply vote for whatever they want, just like Gibbons were invisible or something.” The staffer was referring to a recent decision by the prison board, which consists of the Governor, the Secretary of State, and Attorney General, where a proposal by Gibbons to close a prison was voted down. (RJ)

The strange illness was soon found to be spreading throughout the Nevada’s administrative branch of state government as staffers suddenly failed to appear at Legislative budget reviews. (RJ,Sun) “It wasn’t that they didn’t attend,” insisted one staffer on promise of anonymity due to chronic incorporeality, “they were freaking invisible, man!”

Reports are now coming in that Guberatorial candidate Brian Sandoval, rumored to be the Guberator’s missing twin brother, has also been overcome with the disease, as an extensive man-hunt has failed to pinpoint his exact location. Some doctors speculate the Mr. Sandoval may also be suffering from nodebateitus, an illness that sometimes overcomes candidates lacking anything interesting to say besides “no new taxes.” “Sandoval and Mr. Gibbons seem to have that lack of meaningful budgetary policy in common,” said a pundit from UNLV who wished to remain anonymous because he was moving to a school that actually has pay checks.

The strange disease manifested itself at a recent meeting of the Nevada State Republican party where prominent Republicans John Ensign, and Dean Heller, as well as Jim Gibbons, could not be seen. Asked why he wasn’t invisible, Mayor Oscar Goodman, who was attending the meeting but no one knew why, replied, “Ha. There’s more gin than blood in my veins, newbie! Ain’t a bug alive that could live in there for two seconds!”

Francis Plutarch III, who was attending the convention, added, shaking his head, “You silly liberal press. You just don’t get it. If you want to see any of the candidates, simply hold a couple of teabags over your eyes! Poof, like magic! You’ll see anything you want!”

Reports are now coming in that the Guberator is planning to make his almost ex-wife disappear as well, given that the Reno house is about to be sold. (Sun) Selling the house was a condition of the couple’s divorce settlement. “The invisibility of the Gibbons can’t come soon enough for Nevadans,” said one disreputable blogger, who hardly needs to be named.

Cross posted from NevadaScandalmonger.com, which is where the new posts really are.

This time I’m moving into more permanent digs, though 10 years on Vote Gibbons Out is an eternity on the Internets. They are more permanent in the sense that the [...]]]> Hey, that’s what we do in Vegas! We move in for a few days, find out how screwed the place is, and then we move out.

This time I’m moving into more permanent digs, though 10 years on Vote Gibbons Out is an eternity on the Internets. They are more permanent in the sense that the target will be more permanent. Instead of poking fun at Gibbons, I’ll be poking fun at the State of Nevada. There is certainly an infinite supply of absurdity there.

The fun takes place over at NevadaScandalmonger.Com. See you there.

I hear tell that you will be picking an artist for the official portrait of Nevada guberator and Chief Scallywag Jim Gibbons. (NNB)

I myself cannot think of a dumber waste of state funds during these trying times. However, if you insist on wasting money on such a dumbass project, my [...]]]> Dear Mr Senator Steven Horsford Sir,

I hear tell that you will be picking an artist for the official portrait of Nevada guberator and Chief Scallywag Jim Gibbons. (NNB)

I myself cannot think of a dumber waste of state funds during these trying times. However, if you insist on wasting money on such a dumbass project, my I suggest that you send me the money, and I’ll Photoshop something up in a jiffy which will sum up the Gibbons gubeocracy to a “T”.

The above is just a sample, showing the Gøøber as a clueless David with a napkin hat while putative GOP insiders anoint Brian Sandoval behind his back.

True, Gibbers looks like an idealized fantasy of himself, but then that’s what the whole last 4 years have looked liked to the Gube, as far as I can tell.

Let me know if you want to follow up on my suggestion.

Sincerely, sorta, yours,

The ‘Monger

Still I’m gonna come right out and say it: I told you so.

Didn’t I warn you that if you didn’t vote for Jim Gibbons in the [...]]]> You know, I could probably drive everyone nuts if I said I told you so every time I was right when predicting erratic behavior from the man we call Gube.

Still I’m gonna come right out and say it: I told you so.

Didn’t I warn you that if you didn’t vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary, that he’d go goofy and pull all sorts of awful stuff and become a lame duck on steroids? And wouldn’t we all sleep better in our beds if we knew Gibbons was out trying to elect himself to Gubery instead of having a ton of free time on his hands to muck around in state government and cast lustful thoughts on Reno MILFs?

Why is it that you never listen to me? Just look what’s on Gibber’s plate: a grotesque budget which will make every state department look like that pervo show that was in Vegas with carved up bodies on display, and one final stab at the Nevada Constitution by trying to kill of the Legislative Interim Finance Committee. (Sun)

And, holy bejeebus: mowing the lawn!

It’s as if Gibbons and the staff can’t tell the difference between a crushing defeat and a mandate. True, as one staffer asserted, the Guv was elected to a four year term, although it’s seemed like forty, hasn’t it? Still, when a majority of voters from your own party tells you that you have no popular support, you’d think some one who has yammered about how swell it is to defend democracy and abiding by the will of the people would take the hint.

Perhaps the explanation for the post-election boost in gubernatorial nuttery might be explained best by the staff being taken over by aliens from outer space. I cite as evidence that strange manner of speech adopted by Gibbons’ spokster/puppetmeister Lynn Hetrick:

“We’re not happy with IFC and think it regularly oversteps its authority,” Hettrick said. When asked if they are willing to challenge its constitutionality — sometimes referred to as the “nuclear option” — Hettrick said, “Are we willing? Yes. Are we going to? We haven’t made up our minds.”

Did you see that? “Our minds”?

It’s pretty clear that the staff has been taken over by some horrid, pulsating hive mind set on softening up Nevada before invading us to ingest our men and procreate with our women.

Don’t believe me? They have already tried to gas the Nevada State Insurance Division! Everybody knows: so goes the NSID, so goes Nevada!

Program note: since you dumb asses don’t see the need to immediately call in the state legislature to impeach Gibbons despite his primary loss, it looks like I’ll have to lurk around here in VGO and fulfill it’s motto: following Gibbers until the bitter end, which may be never when those aliens pull their coup d’etat.

Don’t think so? Well, don’t make me say I told you so!

As such, it would be truly moronic to continue a blog called Vote Gibbons Out, unless one planned to discuss the failing of political apes. Granted [...]]]> It’s official. The Associated Press called the Nevada Republican Governor’s primary race for Brian Sandoval a while ago, and thus endeth the perplexing political career of one James Tiberius Gibbons.

As such, it would be truly moronic to continue a blog called Vote Gibbons Out, unless one planned to discuss the failing of political apes. Granted that wouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Whether I will continue to blog on anything at this point is an open question I have yet to resolve. There is Nor’Town, but whether I will continue that project is unknown as well. In any case, I will be taken an extended hiatus from blogging. That may extend to a time at which blogging will have joined the likes of Hula Hoops and iPads.

I suppose if the lame duck interregnum becomes too awful, I might feel compelled to say something. We’ll see.

To my fans, all two of you, I extend my best wishes. I’d leave a silver bullet, too, but I can hardly afford in Nevada’s current economy, or lack thereof.

Greetings all –

On June 7-8th, we would like to mount a sit-up-take-notice campaign aimed at Nevada’s Congressional delegation. Why? Because

NOW is the time to get Tule Springs legislation introduced – to assure its passage during this Congress!

From Jill DeStefano, representing the Protectors of Tule Springs:

Greetings all –

On June 7-8th, we would like to mount a sit-up-take-notice campaign aimed at Nevada’s Congressional delegation. Why? Because

NOW is the time to get Tule Springs legislation introduced – to assure its passage during this Congress!

NOW is the time to remind Nevada’s Congressional delegation of the amazing support this community has expressed to make Tule Springs a national monument managed by the National Park Service!

NOW is the time to show Nevadans that our representatives work TOGETHER on Nevada land legislation as they have in the PAST!!

This is NOT a partisan issue. Protectors of Tule Springs has members of every political affiliation. This is about preserving one of the most important Ice Age Fossil sites in the World!

TALKING POINTS
(Feel free to use and please edit to make these points relevant to the endorsing individual/organization.)

• Last November, with noteworthy collaboration, the Clark County Commission, Las Vegas and North Las Vegas City Councils and the Tribal Council of the Southern Nevada Paiute Tribe UNANIMOUSLY PASSED resolutions asking Nevada’s Congressional to make Tule Springs a national monument, managed by the National Park Service. These elected officials represent more than a million Southern Nevada residents.
• In the ensuing months, a broad range of stakeholders and varied groups have worked together to outline boundaries and details, and all have come together in the spirit of collaboration to make Tule Springs a model urban national park.
• We appeal NOW to Nevada’s Congressional delegation to file legislation with anticipation that this legislation will be passed during this Congress.
• Tule Springs is, as you undoubtedly know, is a significant paleontological site with fossils that span 7,000 to nearly 200,000 years ago. This site is expected to attract visitors from around the world, as well as global scientific interest. Thank you for your support in this vital, essential legislative action.

EXECUTION
The most effective way to really make our point stand out will be to flood Congressional offices with snail mail, faxes, email and phone calls. If possible, we need to rally individuals and organizations …. We’re looking for numbers.

Senator John Ensign
Washington D.C. Office
119 Russell Senate Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Phone: (202) 224-6244
Fax: (202) 228-2193
TTY: (202) 228-3364
Las Vegas Office
333 Las Vegas Boulevard South, Suite 8203
Las Vegas, Nevada 89101
Phone: (702) 388-6605
Fax: (702) 388-6501
Nevada Toll Free: (877) 894-7711

Senator Harry Reid
Washington D.C. Office
522 Hart Senate Office Bldg
Washington, DC 20510
Phone: (202) 224-3542
Fax: (202) 224-7327
Nevada Toll Free: (866) SEN-REID (736-7343)
Las Vegas Office
Lloyd D. George Building
333 Las Vegas Boulevard
South, Suite 8016
Las Vegas, NV 89101
Phone: (702) 388-5020
Fax: (702) 388-5030

Congresswoman Shelley Berkley
Washington, D.C. Office
405 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Phone: (202) 225-5965
Fax: (202) 225-3119
Las Vegas Office
2340 Paseo Del Prado, Suite D-106 Las Vegas, NV 89102
Phone: (702) 220-9823
Fax: (702) 220-9841

Congressman Dean Heller
Washington, D.C. Office
125 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Phone: (202) 225-6155 /// Fax: (202) 225-5679
Las Vegas Office
600 Las Vegas Blvd., Suite 680
Las Vegas, NV 89101
Phone:(702) 255-1651 / Fax: (702) 255-1927

Congresswoman Dina Titus
Washington D.C. Office
319 Cannon HOB
Washington, D.C. 20515
Phone: (202) 225-3252
Fax: (202) 225-2185
Las Vegas Office
8215 S. Eastern Avenue, Suite 205
Las Vegas, NV 89123
Phone: (702) 387-4941
Fax: (702) 837-0728

I would add that if you happen to actually see your representative around asking for your vote, tell them that Tule Springs is a priority for you. I know some of you are working phone banks and volunteering for these people, too. Tell the campaign staff how important the issue is to you.

Cross-posted from Nor’Town.

This time, however, the SNAFU is all Congress’s doing, as they go into full-blown pre-election meltdown mode.

Congress has decided that, contrary to the hard won [...]]]> Just when you thought it was safe, “Nevada authorities,” i.e., the gonads in the Gube’s office, announce that they might have to call yet another special session of the state legislature.

This time, however, the SNAFU is all Congress’s doing, as they go into full-blown pre-election meltdown mode.

Congress has decided that, contrary to the hard won lessons of the real Depression, that they have to nickel-and-dime the most vulnerable Americans in order to engage in some faux-deficit cutting. (Krugman)

What’s screwing up the state budget is Congress’s insane idea to cut Medicaid matching funds and Temporary Assistance to Needy Families. (Sun) The state was counting on the funds to balance the budget and without them, it’s back to Carson for the Legislature. Add to the mix a no-doubt lame duck Gibbons and nothing good can come from the mix.

Let’s not forget to add Congress’s dumbass idea to cut unemployment benefits and Cobra supplements. It’s as if they want to punish the unemployed for making them look bad in their election bids.

It is well worth asking all of our representatives, Shelley Berkley, Dina Titus, and Dean Heller, not to mention our high-powered Senators John Ensign and Harry Reid: what are you thinking? Why do you want to make things worse for those suffering most?

Cutting support to the unemployed only makes things worse for everyone. Who are businesses going to sell food to if nobody can buy? Is the idea to undermine those businesses as well? Put more people out of work? Force more people into bankruptcy and foreclosure? Undermine more banks?

And here in Nevada we compound the misery with “glitches” that make payments for thousands late. (RGJ)

Do you people really want so badly to be voted out? If so, I think that can be arranged.