Hello Nevada Voters,

This is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

I am honored to serve you and I am asking for your vote for re-election.

Think of this [...]]]> The Lame Duck Apparent sent out what, we can only hope, is the last message from the crack governor’s staff/re-elect the trainwreck committee:

Hello Nevada Voters,

This is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

I am honored to serve you and I am asking for your vote for re-election.

Think of this election as applying for a job. I am the only candidate with experience and leadership on my resume.

Four of the leading organizations in Nevada have come out in the past two weeks to endorse and support my campaign.

I have been supported or endorsed by both of the state’s largest tea party organizations, Grassroots Nevada and Action is Brewing (AIB).

Grassroots Nevada researched and interviewed all candidates running for governor and chose to endorse Jim Gibbons because the group felt he “best served the interests of the conservative movement” in the state.

“The Governor won our Action is Brewing’s ‘Taxpayer tested/Grassroots approved’poll,” said Action is Brewing organizer Debbie Landis.

“Governor Gibbons has consistently exhibited pro-life principles throughout his years of political service,” said Jeremy Neil, executive director of LIFEPAC, a state political action committee for Nevada Right to Life.

“Our endorsement (for Governor Gibbons) is based on your dedication to law enforcement, homeland security, law and order and your distinguished career in pubic service,” said Ron Cuzze, President and CEO of Nevada State Law Enforcement Officers’ Association.

I am the only candidate with a track record of fighting higher taxes and fighting bigger government, while we create jobs and fix the economy.

A vote for Jim Gibbons…is the vote for LOWER TAXES, is the vote for SMALLER GOVERNMENT , and is the vote to PROTECT OUR CONSTITUTION.

God Bless You and we’ll see you at the polls on Tuesday.

I figured I would quote the whole thing because, well, we won’t be seeing any of those any more, if what the polls tell us indicate what will happen in what losers call “the only poll that matters” on election day.

Still, the Gibbers campaign insists there is hope–among the crazy in the state:

If Gibbons is to avoid becoming the first Nevada governor to lose a re-election bid in his party’s primary, his campaign will have to find a surge of voters who haven’t been identified by traditional polling methods.

Gibbons’ campaign is betting they’ll do just that by working the phones through Tuesday to bring out voters who identify with conservative Tea Party rhetoric, who support the governor’s hard-line, anti-tax stances.

“I’m not running from my record, I’m willing to run on my record,” Gibbons said Friday of the plan for the remainder of his campaign. “People who run their races based on polls are going to be surprised.” (RJ)

Ah, yes! Let’s create a campaign strategy that ignores all statistical science! That’ll work!

And, unfortunately for the campaign, they did run on his record. Tuesday will show what Nevadans thought of that.

Still, I had the singular opportunity to vote for Jim Gibbons once during this election. I had hoped to help Gibbons creep into the general election where all of you who voted for him in 2006 could feel shame for your insanity. Alas, that is very unlikely to be.

Unless…unless the lame duck interregnum provide ample opportunity for such reflection. But, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone–even those of you who voted for him in 2006.

Oh, and raise your hand if you really think Gibbons ran a moneyless campaign on principle:

His campaign said the more modest operation was, at least partly, a choice.

“He ran a very tight campaign because he feels strongly that at a time when he’s asking for the government to pull back the reins on spending, he doesn’t feel it’s appropriate to spend a lot of money on his own campaign,” his spokeswoman Jill Lufrano said. (Sun)

If you really believe that, then Gibbons is indeed your man. But, before you vote, please seek help. Immediately.

I say this based on the evidence of the following campaign e-mail emanating from said office:

Dear Nevada Voters,

Hello, this is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

The “Obama Drama” [...]]]> Looks like the Nevada Governor’s office/Re-elect Gibbons team has started drowning their sorrows a tad early at the prospect of losing big next Tuesday.

I say this based on the evidence of the following campaign e-mail emanating from said office:

Dear Nevada Voters,

Hello, this is your Governor, Jim Gibbons.

The “Obama Drama” in Nevada has started, and we have all heard “Spend-it-all” LIE about his liberal “Tax-us-all” agenda.

“Whinin’ Brian” is saying anything, and doing everything to cover up the “Spend-it-all” Seven Year Tax Hike he rammed down our throats, just like Obama did with the Reid/Obama/Pelosi Nationalized Health Care fiasco.

“Spend-it-all” Sued Nevada Voters to Raise Our Taxes, and we are still paying his tax hikes today!

Join me, Governor Jim Gibbons, to stop “Spend-it-all”, Obama, Reid, Pelosi, and the rest of the Liberal Progressives.

Get a friend and get to the polls. Your future and the future of Nevada depend on it.

I ASK FOR YOUR VOTE. Let’s protect our way of life, protect our Constitution and stand by our true conservative values.

God bless you, and let’s get to work.

Warmest Regards,
Jim Gibbons

Man,  that screed is so twisted, you wonder if “our” Gube actually wrote it himself. I guess it’s written in code so that only those with the Gibbons’ secret decoder ring can figure out what the hell it’s talking about. As far as I can tell, the team is trying to make us think that Brian Sandoval–he’s “spend/tax-it-all”–is really a tri-pated monster with the heads of Obama, Pelosi, and the elder Reid.

Note how the team has seven-year itches on the mind. Who knew that the 2003 tax hikes were seven-year tax hikes? Though I suspect the campaign would prefer to call it a fifteen-year tax, to keep the campaign message consistent with the whole Gibbons’ package. So to speak.

What the hell is “Obama Drama,” anyway? Do you think the team even proof-reads this stuff?

Who would dare the universal derision surely to accompany such a ludicrous expenditure of funds? Why surely any major corporate figure to do so would [...]]]> Can you? Can you think of anything more embarrassing than having your name printed in the local newspaper for giving money to the Jim Gibbons for Trashheap of History Campaign? (RJ)

Who would dare the universal derision surely to accompany such a ludicrous expenditure of funds? Why surely any major corporate figure to do so would cause investors to question his or her sanity. Why, you’d have to think any such corporate officer would have lost their marbles. The stock would no doubt take a nosedive on the news.

So, what kind of idiot would do such a thing?

By the way, anybody want to buy some Wynn stock?

If you insist on voting in the [...]]]>
Today is the day for the Monger’s recommendations for the Nevada Primary! I’ll only be making a few recommendations mostly for the Republican side because (a) I’m officially registered as a Republican and (b) as for the Democrats: who cares? They lack that tea-party nuttiness that real Americans crave!

If you insist on voting in the Democratic primary, check out the Nevada Progressive Voter Guide.

For the rest of us, the real question for the primary is: who in the race is most like Jim Gibbons, the standard by which craziness is measured in Nevada politics?

Let’s think of voting like giving away a prize. In this case, we’ll call the prize the Crazy Jim!

Senate: Sue Lowden is a Crazy Jim!

Man, the Senate race is a toughie. The list of Crazy Jims on the ballot is long, and so many deserve special mention. For example, hanging Chad Christensen‘s use of a truck to illegally dump garbage in front of the Reid compound was truly inspired, although it would have been all the more impressive if Chad were arrested for the offense. Also, the utter buffoonery of claiming to be the most electable candidate based on a dull career on the backbench of the state Assembly deserves kudos as well.

Sharron Angle was nearly the favorite for being some kind of Southern Baptist Scientologist, which has something to do with John Travolta being an alien who’s come to earth to take Billy Graham to Heaven where he gets 72 virgins. Billy, not John, who’s already had his. The fact that the only thing keeping Angle’s campaign going is an infusion of funds by corporate lobbyists fronted by a putative grassroots populist group earns her extra points. Plus the stuff about the Department of Education being unconstitutional, the withdrawal of the US from the United Nations, and the privatization of Social Security. (DailyCaller)

Oh, and insert something about Baby Tark, here, if you really want. Nobody really cares, though.

Nonetheless, Suicide Sue Lowden deserves the “Crazy Jim” for conducting a campaign just barely less moronic than the Gov hisself. Chickens for checkups. The Bus from Campaign Finance Hell. The Attack on Civil Rights. Why, the only thing missing is an assault on a waitress. Chicken Sue gets the “Crazy Jim”!

Guberator: Jim Gibbons is a Crazy Jim!

Now here’s the easiest. James Tiberius Gibbons is the clear choice for the brainless voter this primary season. Granted, watching Brian Sandoval try to out Gibbons the Gibster and declare an all out war on La Raza was truly entertaining and certainly gave Brian some extra points. Still, anyone who is the subject of an AP piece entitled “Women’s Troubles, Empty Pockets Can’t Stop Gov’s Bid” despite the fact that the empty pockets and women’s troubles most likely will stop it, deserves the full support of every Nevada Republican worthy of the name.

What makes Jimbo a true Crazy Jim, however, is how his single-minded adherence to no new taxes has made the recession even worse for Nevadans:

Last year after the Nevada Consumer Affairs Division was shut down to save money, the FBI and local officials reported a sharp rise in scams—telemarketing, car repair frauds, identity theft, mortgage games.

Around the same time, the state eliminated funding for cloud seeding. Nevada is a desert state, and its water is limited. In addition, how dry or wet a winter is can affect how serious a fire season, with all its attendant costs, will be the following summer. Clark County officials, believing that Nevadans need the cloud seeding, pitched in with $900,000 that the county could ill afford.

Last week the Washoe County health department reported that because of budget reductions annual aerial larvicide application is being cut by 40 percent. Health officials warned members of the public to take greater than normal care with their health this summer by using mosquito repellant more assiduously, quickly clearing out any standing pools of water around the house to reduce mosquito breeding grounds, making sure all window screens are intact and repaired if there are breaches, and so on.

On and on it has gone, as programs to protect the public have been reduced or done away with altogether. If there is a common thread among stories like this, it is shortsightedness. (RN&R)

Reno News and Review goes on to explain how all the fun is due to Jim Gibbons.

Hey, but here’s the funny part. Every other major Gubernatorial candidate, Republican or Democrat, has taken the same no new taxes stance. Gibbons, in a recent, plaintive e-mail whined that all his opponents stole his positions. Well, his only position of no new taxes, anyway.

So, I guess I should award the Crazy Jim to every Nevadan because, well, you can run, but you cannot hide from the Gibster! He may not survive the June 8th primary, but he will live on in the short-sighted positions of Nevada candidates and the broken lives of Nevada denizens.

Nobody deserves a “Crazy Jim” more than crazy Jim.

Lieutenant Guberator: Brian Krolicki is a Crazy Jim!

Hey, how could near-felon, Brian Krolicki not be a sure-in for the Crazy Jim? Mr. Krolicki deserves extra points for his plan to short sell the Tobacco Fund, which would have bilked Nevadans out of millions in a panic sale.

Attorney General: Jacob Hafter deserves a Crazy Jim!

Usually AG candidates are pretty dull. But you just have to give special mention to a fellow who might be sanctioned by the Nevada State Bar Association for ethics violations stemming from lack of communication between brain and mouth. (RJ,NNB,NA)

Congressional District 1: Michele Fiore is a Crazy Jim!

Nothing says you love your congressional district more than living outside of it. At least that seems to be the theory of Michele Fiore who’s running as one of the sacrificial lambs who feverishly think that the anti-incumbent thing might even touch the rock solid seat of Shelley Berkley. Fiore, however, actually dwells in Titus’ district three. The Constitution and the laws of the State of Nevada allow her to pursue this odd course, but surely even the dullards in the State GOP should realize that the natives might chafe at having an outsider foisted on them, especially after some kind of sleazy back room dealing.

It has also been amusing to witness the evolution of Fiore from the gun-toting, taser-hipped S&M model pictured to the right to a business-coat wearing frump in recent campaign mailers. Still, her message is pretty much the same as the rest of the GOP pack. They all insist that cutting taxes will create jobs despite all the evidence that lack of revenue only tends to throw city, county and state workers on the street, where they are unable to buy stuff at local businesses, causing more layoffs there, etc., while frightened megabanks horde money which could be loaned to those businesses. Of course one can’t regulate the megabanks that violates the free market principles, yada, yada, yada.

Okay, that’s enough. Hurry along June 9th! I’ll be switching back to the Democratic party as soon as I can. Farewell RIROs!

It’s just so hard to keep up with the ever-changing reports on the health of Gube’s campaign.

Not that the reports of the campaign’s demise were a complete waste of [...]]]> Looks like today is the day everybody is pronouncing the Gibbons’ re-election dead. And just last week we were told that it was resurrecting nicely, thank you.

It’s just so hard to keep up with the ever-changing reports on the health of Gube’s campaign.

Not that the reports of the campaign’s demise were a complete waste of time. After all, we learn so many new things about the man we wish we knew so much less about. Why it was just staggering!

For instance, we now know what was taking the governor’s interest away not only from governing, but from sex as well.

I must here ask younger readers to please look away. The revelation is that shocking.

The gubernator, prior to his interest in texting, was morbidly fascinated with mowing the lawn! Indeed while in Congress he would return home to spend entire Sundays mowing–while Dawn pined away from jealously and loneliness inside the family home, no doubt. (Sun)

While governor, we also learn, Gibbers was away from the office so often that he left the Autopen, a device which automatically mimics a signature, in charge. (Sun) This led some staff to joke that the Autopen was the “busiest employee in the state.”

It is my misfortune to announce, however, that the Autopen was pink-slipped recently due to unresolved issues over it’s mandatory furlough days.

Still, this is one case where I think the Gube did the right thing. Much better to have the Autopen in charge than the Lt. Guv.

However, I was able to snap a picture of the Autopen in retirement, above. Rather ironically, it was mowing the grass of its Elko ranch at the time.

Still, all this talk about Gibbons losing the primary has prompted me to step in to save the campaign. I offer here a commercial which will surely put Gibbons over the top on June 8. It works off a theme that Nevada Republicans had better start thinking carefully about. What happens if Gibbons loses the primary, and we’re stuck with the lamest of lame duck governors for nearly six months? (Sun) Massive gropings and orgies in the Gube manse as the Guv throws aside his extended pon farr? State lawns cropped down to the very sod? Midnight phone calls, like those between Milhous and Henry K, to Bobby Uithoven wherein the Guv, between guilty sobs, begs forgiveness for his ever doubting his loyal lieutenant?

Or even worse: the horrible ravages of Autopen overuse and abuse.

Please, don’t let that happen, fellow Nevada Republicans. Now, more than ever, you must Vote Gibbons!

“It’s a Democrat trying to help another Democrat win office. ‘I’m not trying to hide it at all. Certainly I am a supporter of Rory’s or have been in the past. I’ve helped him out with campaigns. And I’m a [...]]]> This just showed up in my e-mail, for some unknown reason:

“It’s a Democrat trying to help another Democrat win office. ‘I’m not trying to hide it at all. Certainly I am a supporter of Rory’s or have been in the past. I’ve helped him out with campaigns. And I’m a lifetime Democrat. Guilty,’ says Dan Hart, creator of the site and advertisement.”

Nevada –

The slick, forget-the-facts attack ads funded by Washington Democrats and Labor Unions designed to elect Rory Reid started last week. That quote is from Dan Hart — Rory Reid’s former campaign manager and the guy behind the shadowy front-group attacking us in the Republican primary.

Help us fight back today!

Everyone knows these attack ads won’t cut government spending, balance our state budget or get the 13.4% of unemployed Nevadans working again. But that’s not the goal of this shadowy front-group as reported in last Thursday’s newspaper:

“The Democratic Governors Association is heavily funding a group attacking GOP gubernatorial front-runner Brian Sandoval — meddling in the opposition’s primary at an unprecedented level, Nevada political observers say.

“The association, according to an IRS filing, made a $500,000 donation Feb. 26 to the Committee to Protect Nevada Jobs — a group with clear ties to Democratic Clark County Commissioner Rory Reid.” (Las Vegas Sun, 4/17/2010)

Simply put, a group funded by the Democrat Washington Democrats and Big Labor; run by Rory Reid’s former campaign manager and county lobbyist has launched a million dollar attack campaign against me in the primary election.

Will you help us respond to these false attacks?

To make matters worse, the ad is a lie. Commentators across Nevada have labeled it ‘False,’ ‘Untrue,’ and ‘Misleading.’ As Attorney General, I never fought for the 2003 tax increase. But that won’t stop Rory Reid and the national democrats from continuing to peddle this lie to Nevada voters.

Rory Reid and his liberal allies will stop at nothing, including trying to change the outcome of a Republican Primary, to win this election. That’s why I need your help today to fight back.

Please contribute $10, $25, $50, $100, or even $1,000 today to help us respond to the Reid attack machine.

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Brian

P.S. Timing is critical. We purchase additional TV time immediately to match their attack ads dollar for dollar. We can’t allow Rory Reid and the national democrats to buy this election

Hmm. Not so sure about the “slick” part. And apparently the silent judge would prefer that he, Monte Miller, and national Republicans buy the election, but hey, this is America. We can all disagree about who should be buying the elections.

Forget Dan Hart. Become a Nevada RIRO instead…

[UPDATE: Sebelius points out that if Sandoval had not been pushed into no-tax demogogary by Gibbons and the Republican core, he wouldn't be such an easy target:

But in politics, if you're explaining, you're losing. In the meantime, plenty of reporters and bloggers are typing the words "Sandoval" and "taxes" in the same sentence.

Committee for Nevada Jobs -- mission accomplished.

But what if Sandoval hadn't been so forceful on the tax issue? What if he'd taken a more thoughtful approach, and said something along these lines: "Look, I'm not in favor of taxes. I think they hurt the economy, and raising or imposing taxes is about the last thing I'd ever do. But I don't know what the future is going to bring, I don't know what our deficit is going to look like, and if I'm elected, I will have an obligation to do the right thing by our children and our seniors. And that might involve taxes. Again, it won't be my first choice, but I'm not going to take it off the table because that would be irresponsible."

Reasonable. Conservative. Realistic.

If he'd said that, the events of 2003 wouldn't be a story. (CityLife)

Hurray for Nevada politics, where extremists have made policy impolitic!]

Those of us in Nor’Town, who are enjoying the ex-mayor’s concept of job growth as the city quickly decomposes into a ghost town, would probably enjoy the gube contest much more if one of his opponents would bring up his disastrous [...]]]> …than watching the following video, designed by the Mike Montandon For Inevitable Political Obscurity campaign…

Those of us in Nor’Town, who are enjoying the ex-mayor’s concept of job growth as the city quickly decomposes into a ghost town, would probably enjoy the gube contest much more if one of his opponents would bring up his disastrous tenure as mayor and its lackadaisical approach to budgeting as a campaign talking point. Alas, the ex-mayor’s incompetence at making even a dent in the juggernaut of money the anointed, silent judge has accrued, or in the just as daunting juggernaut of goofiness the braying Gube has conjured up, makes such a airing of the mayor’s dirty, anti-gay, anti-choice undies less than unlikely.

Too bad. All that’s left is to make fun of his lame web-ads. Until he runs for congress in district one in 2012 that is.

Well, I think you see the — actually, the firestorm of politics in Nevada, no different than the firestorm of politics that’s brewing across [...]]]> Nevada governor Jim Gibbons, or “Moses” as the gube staff/re-elect the guv committee likes to call him, got all biblical yesterday on his 423rd appearance on Fox News:

Well, I think you see the — actually, the firestorm of politics in Nevada, no different than the firestorm of politics that’s brewing across the nation. I think there’s going to be tremendous changes in the United States Senate, House of Representatives. A lot of the House seats across this country are going to change hands. And even in Nevada, we’re going to see different make-up of our own bicameral legislative house, as well. (Greta)

The Guv was all fired up, if you will, by his signing a proclamation to join the lawsuit over the health care bill, which he and a handful of other scared incumbents are pursuing in order to distract the electorate from their failures  during the economic crisis. (RJ)

Naturally, the Gube misses the obvious implication of his little sermon. The political firestorm, such as it is, is an anti-incumbency firestorm. Perhaps the Guv has overlooked a few simple facts, like he is (a) an incumbent and (b) an extraordinarily incompetent incumbent and (c) an extraordinarily unpopular incumbent.

Still, no doubt the craven core of his support is lapping up the Guv’s rhetoric like a dog at its own sick. The teabaggers are no doubt loving it, and the state GOP, desperate to stitch together a few rags from the tatters of the ruined cloth of the party, are anxious to cater to the teaparty extreme. So they struggle: who will the extremists like best? The invisible judge or the fire-breathing incumbent who is even more desperate than they to please them?

However, it may all be for the good. Gibbons may use his demagoguery to squeeze past Brian Sandoval in the primary. At that point, despite polls showing Gibbons neck-and-neck with Rory Reid, Gibbons will be faced with voters for whom he alone will be incentive enough to vote for the other guy.

If kicking Gibbons out can’t get Democrats and Independents off the couch, then nothing can.

Indeed, some new folks have just figured that out, long after us’n Nevada RIROs did.