Today is the day for the Monger’s recommendations for the Nevada Primary! I’ll only be making a few recommendations mostly for the Republican side because (a) I’m officially registered as a Republican and (b) as for the Democrats: who cares? They lack that tea-party nuttiness that real Americans crave!
If you insist on voting in the Democratic primary, check out the Nevada Progressive Voter Guide.
For the rest of us, the real question for the primary is: who in the race is most like Jim Gibbons, the standard by which craziness is measured in Nevada politics?
Let’s think of voting like giving away a prize. In this case, we’ll call the prize the Crazy Jim!
Senate: Sue Lowden is a Crazy Jim!
Man, the Senate race is a toughie. The list of Crazy Jims on the ballot is long, and so many deserve special mention. For example, hanging Chad Christensen‘s use of a truck to illegally dump garbage in front of the Reid compound was truly inspired, although it would have been all the more impressive if Chad were arrested for the offense. Also, the utter buffoonery of claiming to be the most electable candidate based on a dull career on the backbench of the state Assembly deserves kudos as well.
Sharron Angle was nearly the favorite for being some kind of Southern Baptist Scientologist, which has something to do with John Travolta being an alien who’s come to earth to take Billy Graham to Heaven where he gets 72 virgins. Billy, not John, who’s already had his. The fact that the only thing keeping Angle’s campaign going is an infusion of funds by corporate lobbyists fronted by a putative grassroots populist group earns her extra points. Plus the stuff about the Department of Education being unconstitutional, the withdrawal of the US from the United Nations, and the privatization of Social Security. (DailyCaller)
Oh, and insert something about Baby Tark, here, if you really want. Nobody really cares, though.
Nonetheless, Suicide Sue Lowden deserves the “Crazy Jim” for conducting a campaign just barely less moronic than the Gov hisself. Chickens for checkups. The Bus from Campaign Finance Hell. The Attack on Civil Rights. Why, the only thing missing is an assault on a waitress. Chicken Sue gets the “Crazy Jim”!
Guberator: Jim Gibbons is a Crazy Jim!
Now here’s the easiest. James Tiberius Gibbons is the clear choice for the brainless voter this primary season. Granted, watching Brian Sandoval try to out Gibbons the Gibster and declare an all out war on La Raza was truly entertaining and certainly gave Brian some extra points. Still, anyone who is the subject of an AP piece entitled “Women’s Troubles, Empty Pockets Can’t Stop Gov’s Bid” despite the fact that the empty pockets and women’s troubles most likely will stop it, deserves the full support of every Nevada Republican worthy of the name.
What makes Jimbo a true Crazy Jim, however, is how his single-minded adherence to no new taxes has made the recession even worse for Nevadans:
Last year after the Nevada Consumer Affairs Division was shut down to save money, the FBI and local officials reported a sharp rise in scams—telemarketing, car repair frauds, identity theft, mortgage games.
Around the same time, the state eliminated funding for cloud seeding. Nevada is a desert state, and its water is limited. In addition, how dry or wet a winter is can affect how serious a fire season, with all its attendant costs, will be the following summer. Clark County officials, believing that Nevadans need the cloud seeding, pitched in with $900,000 that the county could ill afford.
Last week the Washoe County health department reported that because of budget reductions annual aerial larvicide application is being cut by 40 percent. Health officials warned members of the public to take greater than normal care with their health this summer by using mosquito repellant more assiduously, quickly clearing out any standing pools of water around the house to reduce mosquito breeding grounds, making sure all window screens are intact and repaired if there are breaches, and so on.
On and on it has gone, as programs to protect the public have been reduced or done away with altogether. If there is a common thread among stories like this, it is shortsightedness. (RN&R)
Reno News and Review goes on to explain how all the fun is due to Jim Gibbons.
Hey, but here’s the funny part. Every other major Gubernatorial candidate, Republican or Democrat, has taken the same no new taxes stance. Gibbons, in a recent, plaintive e-mail whined that all his opponents stole his positions. Well, his only position of no new taxes, anyway.
So, I guess I should award the Crazy Jim to every Nevadan because, well, you can run, but you cannot hide from the Gibster! He may not survive the June 8th primary, but he will live on in the short-sighted positions of Nevada candidates and the broken lives of Nevada denizens.
Nobody deserves a “Crazy Jim” more than crazy Jim.
Lieutenant Guberator: Brian Krolicki is a Crazy Jim!
Hey, how could near-felon, Brian Krolicki not be a sure-in for the Crazy Jim? Mr. Krolicki deserves extra points for his plan to short sell the Tobacco Fund, which would have bilked Nevadans out of millions in a panic sale.
Attorney General: Jacob Hafter deserves a Crazy Jim!
Usually AG candidates are pretty dull. But you just have to give special mention to a fellow who might be sanctioned by the Nevada State Bar Association for ethics violations stemming from lack of communication between brain and mouth. (RJ,NNB,NA)
Congressional District 1: Michele Fiore is a Crazy Jim!
Nothing says you love your congressional district more than living outside of it. At least that seems to be the theory of Michele Fiore who’s running as one of the sacrificial lambs who feverishly think that the anti-incumbent thing might even touch the rock solid seat of Shelley Berkley. Fiore, however, actually dwells in Titus’ district three. The Constitution and the laws of the State of Nevada allow her to pursue this odd course, but surely even the dullards in the State GOP should realize that the natives might chafe at having an outsider foisted on them, especially after some kind of sleazy back room dealing.
It has also been amusing to witness the evolution of Fiore from the gun-toting, taser-hipped S&M model pictured to the right to a business-coat wearing frump in recent campaign mailers. Still, her message is pretty much the same as the rest of the GOP pack. They all insist that cutting taxes will create jobs despite all the evidence that lack of revenue only tends to throw city, county and state workers on the street, where they are unable to buy stuff at local businesses, causing more layoffs there, etc., while frightened megabanks horde money which could be loaned to those businesses. Of course one can’t regulate the megabanks that violates the free market principles, yada, yada, yada.
Okay, that’s enough. Hurry along June 9th! I’ll be switching back to the Democratic party as soon as I can. Farewell RIROs!