Monthly Archives

The Adventures of Radioactive Man!!!

Radioactive Man!Speaking to the Mount Rose Republican Women the other day, my candidate for the Republican gubernatorial primary, one James Tiberius Gibbons, spouted the following:

I am pro-nuclear but I have to be against Yucca Mountain and it’s not because it’s politically motivated. I’m a scientist, remember. I know you can store nuclear waste safely. I am anti Yucca Mountain because it was designed in 1970 for the shutdown of the nuclear energy industry. It was designed to tear it (nuclear power plants) all down, put it in this hole, cover it up, walk away and never again would America be involved again with nuclear energy. (NN?&V)

Now lots of folks were no doubt stunned by the intellectual subtlety of that I have to be against Yucca statement, which seems to connote that if’n he had his druthers and didn’t have to pander to fickle Nevada voters, the Guv would go full-out List-shit FOR the Yucca Mountain Nuke Waste Pit and Splatter Shield Dump.

No, wait, it’s his Masters of Science degree that’s holding him back. And why? Not because his MS in rocks  says Yucca Mountain is based on bad science, which it may or may not be, but because he knows the super-secret truth behind Yucca Mountain:

It was created to shut done the nuclear industry.

Gee, where to start?

  • Gibbons super-secret truth is a political one, by the way, not having anything to do with geology or nuclear physics. So, it must not be coming from his spider-sense scientisty side.
  • Gibbons super-secret truth isn’t a truth. You’re invited to dig through the project’s document database for a shred of evidence supporting it.
  • Forty years later, the nuke industry is hardly dead, what with 104 commercial nuclear fires burning away making the U.S. the leading producer of commercial nuclear power.

But wait, here comes the best part:

There are no new nuclear power plants being constructed. There’s a lot being talked about, but I guarantee you when G.W. Bush left office the opportunity to even talk about new nuclear power plants went out the door. (NN?&V)

Now granted the dear ladies at the Mount Rose Republicans Club were probably enthralled with this last trinket of wisdom, that is, until they turned on the T.V. to watch a non-G.W.Bush president give his state of the union and say how much he loves nuclear power. (ABC)

Now, you would think that such an obvious misstatement of the president’s views might sour the dear ladies of Mount Rose on the Gube. Not to worry. Like real Nevada Republicans, the dear ladies wouldn’t watch the prez on TV even if you threatened to burn the Nixon was Misunderstood framed embroidery sampler over the fireplace or melt down the Franklin Mint Sliver-plated Norquist Bathtub displayed proudly in the hutch.

Finally, to add insult to Gibbons’ injury, if that’s possible, the Obama administration looks like it will finally kill the Yucca Mountain project. (Sun) Surely that’s grossly unfair to steal another issue from the Guv just when he’d reached perhaps the most tangled stance ever seen on the subject.

Still, the crack governor’s staff/re-elect the Gøøber committee is no doubt on the case, seeking some way to bend the Guv’s pretzel-logic once again to try to reanimate the Guv’s campaign. It’s about the 4,392nd attempt.

Elsewhere: Norm! reports that Dawn Gibbons has moved into a rental near the Las Vegaas Golf Club:

“I’m renting until I get a little check from up north,” she said, referring to her pending divorce settlement with Gov. Jim Gibbons. (Norm!)

Bookmark and Share

Comments are closed.