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2009: This Year in Gibstory: The Pathetic End

Sherm Haney and the Grumpy McNugget

Thank God! This year’s Gibstory is finally nearing the end!

September 2009. Sherm Haney and Senator Grumpy McNugget have a friendly dustup over the local paper. The Stimulus Czar, whose appointment created a Nevada constitutional crisis, wasn’t ready for work. Insurance industry lobbyists got special access from the Gube’s office just as the fight over health insurance was warming up. The 1,784th attempt to resurrect Gibbons’ mojo is canceled due to Gibbon’s fatigue.

October 2009. Is it too soon to imagine a world without Gibbons without pants? Flap over botox-injecting nurse’s aids ends after Gibbons gets out of the way. Sherm Fredrick noted odd behaviors in the Gube. Faced with the prospect that Mickey Mouse has a better chance than Gibbons to win the Republican primary, trailblazing blogger formed the Nevada Republican’s in Registration Only (RIRO’s) to encourage non-Republicans to vote for Gibbons in the primary (and wear napkinhats)! Gube-adversary Brian Sandoval trots out messianic slogan, but Gibbons is not dead, yet!

November 2009. After Sue Lowden made jokes about a Harry Reid car-bombing, Gibbons just couldn’t resist and made up without any foundation at all some really weird story about the bomb being a telephone book in a shoebox. Forward-looking blogger made predictions for 2010. Former Gibbons-enablers flocked to annoint Brian Sandoval somehow hoping that the same strategy from 2006 will produce different results. Woah! So many choices for challengers to Harry Reid. How’s a Nevada Republican to choose?

Jim Gibbons: He's not dead, yet!December 2009. The month started with a lengthy article in Reno magazine in which Dawn told us more about what went on the Gibbons’ household that any sane person could possibly want to know. The article seemed to be the precursor for a month of Gibbons’ revelations since a full-blown trial was scheduled at the end of the month to settle the festering divorce. The Gibbons’ team went into full-blown panic mode at the prospect. Alas, the fun was not to be as the Gube at the eleventh hour paid some blood money and handed over some cherished trinkets to the woman he called “enraged ferret” in order to settle the suit. As with all apparent Gube-victories, it was short-lived as his campaign manager let loose a ludicrously sexist remark and was let go from the crack campaign squad.

And that’s enough of this Gibstory crap for another year.

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