Categories

Monthly Archives

Have I Died and Gone to Heaven?!?

Amodei is Legislator by Day -- Mining Lobbyist by Night!Wow! I feel like a kid in a candy store!

Just look at all those nifty candidates I get to pick from in the Nevada Republican primary for the U.S. Senate, now that I’m a Nevada Republican! (RJ)

How do we do it, us’n Nevada Republicans? I mean: how do we settle for just ONE of these gems, the ONE who best represents all that us’n Nevada Republicans hold dear?

I don’t know who to pick! Take Mark Amodei. Formally a state senator by day, he was a mining association lobbyist by night! Why, he was sorta like Batman, except the pay was better and he worked for foreign companies that don’t wanna pay their fair share to support the state. How cool is that?

Sue Lowden: Million Dollar BrideStill, Sue Lowden is amazingly seductive as a candidate. Why after all those years in the Democratic party, where all the women are welfare mom lesbians who use abortion as a means of contraception and never shave their legs, how could I not find THIS so compelling, so refreshing?

“Very simple. My husband wanted me to. He wanted me to help him grow the family business and be with the children.” (Sun)

That’s Sue Lowden explaining why she abandoned a career in broadcasting. Wow! A party where women know their place and always obey their husbands’ goofiest commands! Why didn’t the Democrats think of that, instead of voting for all those pushy women like Titus, Buckley, and Berkley? What were they thinking?!? Why, it makes much more sense to elect a woman who thinks that her husband’s wishes trump everything, including those of her constituents. Amazing!

But when all is said and done, I think there is only one candidate who really brings to the party what a true, Jim Gibbons Nevada Republican really wants. And that’s Sharron Angle. Nobody except old Club for Growth Sharron comes close to capturing that Nixonian moodiness and inbred ability to alienate our Gibbers oozes from every pore.

Still, my mind isn’t made up, and I’m not ready to make any endorsements yet. Candidates, keep seducing me with your honeyed words and gu’ment shrinkin’ ideas!

Say, aren’t us’n Republicans supposed to get kickbacks and stuff like that? You know, maybe get some rich folk to finance a website or two in exchange for an endorsement? Isn’t that how this is supposed to work?

Bookmark and Share

1 comment to Have I Died and Gone to Heaven?!?