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Bail, Mortgage Slaves! You Have Nothing to Lose But Your Chains!

And your credit rating.

Please, please, please don't buy a new house at cheap prices and walk away from your current underwater, mud-and-sticks debtor's prison, pleads the Review Journal today. (RJ)

Skank of America 

The Journal's story is actually rather helpful, if you're considering the "buying and bailing" strategy. That's where you buy a new home at present cutrate prices, and then you just walk away from the old mortgage, leaving the dear old bank to clean up the bodies, as it were.

Credit Fleece. The developer's friend! Shorn to please.

Of course there are some pesky details to deal with, like the difficulty of getting a new loan if your house, like most everybody's in Vegas, is underwater, and the hit your credit will take after you dump that dump.

So, where does one find a branch of Shitty Bank? But, really, I'm quite disappointed with the RJ's attitude towards the whole affair. Why, they're downright discouraging of the idea.

But that doesn't make any sense for our anti-government pals over at the RJ because there's the seed of a real revolution inside of buying and bailing which could bring the whole system crashing down. One which has the potential to make teabaggin' and birthin' look like the timid, wussy little tirades they are.

Give me a loan modification or give me death! I call it the new Shays' Rebellion. The idea is this. All of us mortgage slaves start planning our buying and bailing strategies. Can't afford a new house? Find a comfy apartment or condo. Then, pull the plug on your current mortgage and watch the multinational conglomerate holding your chains start to squirm.

Why? Not just to flush that overpriced old ball-and-chain mud hut along with the ARM some slick-talking agent talked ya into. This is a revolution, comrades! Material gain is immaterial! No, the real object is to slap back at the Wall Street jackals and bankers who got us into this mess. You know the ones. They're still using your tax dollars to pay bonuses to the geniuses who created the mess in the first place.

Bring the banking system to it's knees! Shame your reps who failed and continue to fail to regulate them! Buy and bail!

There's even a precedent from the Revolutionary War era for the movement. Just like the teabaggers have the Boston Tea Party, us'n "New Regulators" (or, alternatively, "Boemios") have Shays' rebellion, wherein brave Captain Daniel Shays in 1786 led the courageous citizenry of Massachusetts in rebellion against the bankers and lawyers who used the post-Revolutionary War boom and bust cycle to foreclose on their homes and their farms.

Sounds familiar, don't it?

The Shays rebellers called themselves "Regulators," of all things, and were eventually shot up by mercenaries hired by "Boston financiers" while trying to take over the local armory. Don't be discouraged, tho, cuz the Rebellion was partly the stimulus to our Founding Framers to dump the Articles of Confederation and replace it with the Constitution. The overreaction by the Massachusetts's Gube may also have spurred folks like George Mason to append the Bill O' Rights at the end of said document to balance the more centralized government structure required by it.

So, forget sissy teabaggin', fellow Nevadans! Buy and bail! It's the American thing to do! Why, you might get a whole new Constitution out of it!

And free the Nevada One! Free the Nevada One! Free the Nevada One!

At least, don't slap her with a minimal fine!

See, the movement's already got catchy slogans–and a martyr, too!

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