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Gibbons To Sue New Alaska Guv

Gibbons-zero
Exclusive to VGO: Jim Gibbons will bring suit against newly minted Alaska Governor Sean Parnell, who, as that state's Lt. Governor will replace Sarah Palin after her surprise resignation last week. (NYT)

As the biography of the new Governor became better known outside of Alaska, however, disturbing news soon reached Carson City.

"Yes," said Gibbons' spokester Dan Burns, "we were very disturbed to discover that there might be a copyright infringement involved given the changes at the Alaskan statehouse. As you know, the Governor of Nevada has a very firm stand against any and all copyright infringement."

At stake is the exclusive rights to a phrase that has come to be synonymous with the current governor of Nevada, James A. Gibbons.

Then Alaska Lt. Governor Sean Parnell recently ran against Representative Don Young and lost by a narrow margin. During the sometimes bitter campaign Mr. Young described Mr. Parnell with a catch-phrase that has stuck with the new Governor, and stuck in the craw of the denizens at the Carson first mansion. (NYT)

"We just couldn't believe it," said Mendy Elliot speaking for the Governor's office. "The Governor has gone to great efforts to earn the rights to be called Captain Zero, and he's not going to give that up to any half-baked newbie. In fact, the Governor stated explicitly that this is the sort of collectivist thievery you get when your state is within sight of Moscow."

The Governor has instructed Attorney General Cortez-Masto to file a cease and desist order against Mr. Parnell and all members of the Alaska state government to immediately halt all allusions to the Alaskan Governor as "Captain Zero," "Dr. Null" or "Ø".

Rumors that the Las Vegas Sun and columnist Jon Ralston would be filing an amicus brief could not be confirmed as of this writing.

Oh, okay. I made it all up, except for the part about Parnell being called "Captain Zero". Dan Burns and Mendy Elliot, I suspect, would only speak to me from the other side of a loaded bazooka and they never really said any of that stuff.

But, you know, Gibbons really should sue. Nobody is Captain Zero like Dr. Ø.

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