Special to the Hooterville Times and Weekly Hog Report — Well don’t this beat all. The new mayor and his city-fied wife don’t like what the old Mayor o’ Hooterville done did with the Hooterville Mayor’s mansion. Seems like Old Kenny Guinn Haney and his wife done carted off near every stick of furniture in the old place. (Sun)
Course, old man Haney claims that stuff was his’n in the first place, and that he had to cart it in cuz the guy afore him done up and left nothing, neither. But them Gibbonses sure was see-prised on their first day to walk in the Haney place and find nary a stool to set on.
Well, you knows that Gibbons Woman. Why she done need all them new fangled gizmos to stuff in the place, like them big new fancy T.V.s and such. Unlike the Haneys, though, she don’t want to use her own stuff. Guess it’s some kinda city thing–never paying for nothing.
Anyways, she an’ the Mayor have asked the folks who paid for the Mayor’s campaign to make contributions to buy ‘em stuff for the place. Like ol’ Sheldon Adelson who owns the Hooterville Gambling House, and them Canadians running the Hooterville Goldmines. Why, it’s probably the same bunch that we’re so friendly-like in helping the Mayor pay off them legal-bills he’s been gettin’ up, what with those F.B.I. fellers nosin’ around all his n’ Dawn’s fancy wheelin’ and dealin’.
Kinda makes you wonder, though, just what old man Adelson and them Canadian prospectors will be expectin’ in return for that sofa and them T.V.’s.
One thing about the new Mayor. You might not know who owns that fancy stuff in the Mansion, but, by golly if it ain’t as plain as the nose on a feller’s face who owns him.
And I suppose it don’t matter if only 30% of Hooterville’s folks support the Mayor, just so long as the Gambling Hall’s still behind him.
And take a gander at that picture exclusive to the Hooterville Times and Weekly Hog Report. Why that there looks like old man Haney loadin’ some furniture into the Haney truck, if I’m not mistaken. And the Mayor, standing behind him, looks a might queasy.
Why he should listen to this purty tune to cheer himself up.