Jack-Mormon Jim Gibbons surprised us all this Friday by proving that he knows how to par-tay, dog. And not only that, but he has a way with the ladies, too.
Or not. It’s kind of hard to tell from the confused report in this morning’s Club For Growth Review Journal. You see, Gibbons was leaving a restaurant after a bout of drinking, or not, and assaulted, or not, a woman in front a local seafood eatery by grabbing her arm, or not.
Gibbons had been dining with some donors and with his campaign manager and chief puppeteer Sig Rogich, or not. You see, who the donors were seems to be a State secret, although according to a waiter, Gibbons was in the bar drinking with “some women.”
Boy howdy! Is that what big city folk call them? “Donors”??
And to confuse things further–but that’s his job–Sig Rogich said “This entire episode is preposterous. It’s sad. It simply did not happen.” So, whatever Rogich has on Sheriff Bill Young must be good, cuz not only is Young supporting the Gibster’s campaign, it looks like he convinced the woman not to press charges. She’s decided she “doesn’t want anything to do with anything.” Yeah, would you if the Sheriff himself were taking an interest in the case?
Anyway, just be sure to tell your conservative Mormon friends about Jim’s drinkin’ and carousin’. Gibbons considers himself LDS (although when he goes to church he goes to the local Presbyterian meeting house). Nonetheless, he claims he believes “in the doctrines and principles” of the LDS church. Last time I looked, drinking alcohol and chasing non-spousal womenfolk was not in the Doctrine and Covenants. Maybe your conservative Mormon friends’ll think twice about that knee-jerk Republican vote of theirs this November.
And no doubt the morning papes will let us know what Dawn thinks of all this. Can’t wait!
[UPDATE: AP adds to the confusion--and the Rogich spin machine is shifting into high gear, or not.]